Double Life

As I sit here in my high back leather chair with my nice cherry desk I realize that I lead two lives. In one life I am a single mother of 3 children , Clair 5, Ethan 4, and Isabel 3. I live in a very very nice house in Geist (rather high end area) with our old farty Boston Terrier Sammy. I shuffle kids to school, practices, and lesson's. I give medicine, hugs, nourishment and kiss away boo boos. But at 5 every weekday I leave this life and go to another life where I am Stephanie, mother to Ethan 4, girlfriend to Jeremy and master to a wonderful chocolate lab Brooklyn. I live in a small town outside of the city. The house is much smaller and more cluttered but its homey and I enjoy it. These two separate lives are each amazing. I would not trade either one for anything in the world. I am so very lucky I have the best of both worlds.

Bring it on!

I am new to the amazing world of 'blogging'. I am sitting here reading a friends blog and I am completely jealous. It seems to me that she knows EXACTLY who she is and me on the other hand have no idea who I am. If you have to take a quiz "o magazine, who are you meant to be" thats just wrong. You should know who you are. You are the only person who can get inside your head and really KNOW what you want and feel and need from this world. As I rang in the new year and new decade it gets me thinking about what I really want to do with my life. Where I want to be and what I want to do. I feel like I have wasted the last five years of my life wishing I could rewind time and go back to a time where I was happy instead of embracing the time I have now. I know when I was in high school and in my early 20's I had a better understanding of who I was and where I was going then I do now at 29, 4 months away from the dirty 30. I have spent too much time taking car of my son instead of taking care of myself. Bottom line being I can never help him if I dont help myself first. I just didnt like who I was the past few years. Its like my brain has finally shifted into high gear and I WANT to do more with my life. I have goals and I actually care about things that I did not care about before. I said I never wanted to grow up, I never thought I would want to. But now I have this urge to do more and become more. I want to know more and experience more. As cheezy as it may sound, there is a big wide world out there and I want to get out and enjoy it.

I went to a funeral for a 24 yr old single mother of two lastnight. She was carlessly murdered over a job at Walmart, seriously. It was one of the saddest things I have even been to. Attending this makes me realize how short our time here could be and why spend it being miserable. So, I am embracing 30 and I say "bring it on" I am sooo ready for you. I actually cant wait for you to get here. I thing 30 is going to be awesome and I am going to be happy with my family and friends that support my crazy randomness.

Lets get it started in here!

Well, I have decided to start writing my deep meaningful thoughts down in a blog. I would have NEVER thought I would be a person who would have a "Blog" but stranger things have happened. Well, if you decided to start reading this blog, which I highly recommend cause its going to be kick ass and laugh your ass off funny, keep a few things in mind. Number 1. I have never claimed to be an English major nor am I a grammar guru. Oh, and yes, I did just miss use that semicolon. Number 2. This is a blog, if you dont like something, you see that little x in the top right corner? CLICK IT and leave. Dont pollute my world with your disapproval of what I think is important. Well, im sure there are more rules but I guess they will have to come later. So, sit back and enjoy the "show".